I'd like to preface this post with an addition to a new phrase Candace and I have coined. Another term for "clam bake" could be after one is done working out. I thought of that this morning when I was brushing my teeth. Needless to say, toothpaste residue is now all over my bathroom mirror and my shirt is bleached from the toothpaste. Skyping at 2 in the morning is very beneficial for creative ideas; to catching up on sleep, not so much.
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| I don't really want to know why they're doing this. I just know I want in on it. |
Another thing I'd like to introduce is what I'm going to call all of you loyal readers [A/N: You're growing in size! Thank you!] Candace keeps calling this my Bloggity, so of course we HAD to come up with a name for my Bloggity followers. So, without further ado, I bring you...The Bloggity Battalion!
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| Your intensity thrills me. ''A new update?! Bitch, get me to a computer STAT." |
Being a part of the Bloggity Battalion [A/N: That looks like "bat a lion", an activity I'd advise you not to do if you enjoy living...] is a huge responsibility. Just think of what Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker...because I can't think of the actual quote and Googling it will just take up valuable time because then I'll start to look for funny pictures of Spiderman and eventually watch clips of the horrible Broadway musical and laugh when I see the actors fall from their harnesses, straight into the audience.
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| Sadly, the firemen with the trampoline were just five feet to the left... |
We've come up with nicknames for you all. Bloggity Bitches and Bloggity Bros. If you have any other suggestions, please leave me a comment. I'm serious. I've been waiting and waiting for someone to write a comment.
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| If you don't comment, I won't dig these random kids (I've kidnapped) out. High tide is quickly approaching. You know what you have to do. And...BREAK! |
Why is it when you're all bundled up in your winter jacket (that you don't understand why you have to wear it when it is obviously SPRING out and there's a foot and a half of snow on the ground) that someone comments on if you've lost weight or not? Is it just my family that does this? I went to go visit my gramma this afternoon and my aunt Cindy asked me if I lost weight as I was zipping on my thirtieth layer of protective clothing to battle the weather.
Aunt Cindy: "Meggers, did you lose weight?"
[A/N: My family has the god damn weirdest nicknames for me. I'm Bacon Pizza, Mrs. Rammer, Meg Speg, Tipper Gore and Megs. I have a name, people! USE. IT.]
*Glancing down at my Stay-Puff marshmallow body*
Me: "...sure, let's go with that."
Aunt Cindy: "It looks like your butt is smaller."
*Removes car keys that have magically been placed between my fingers like some sort of an automotive-esque Wolverine*
Me: "I'm going to go. It was nice seeing you, Gramma!''
*Leaves with my apparently smaller ass in tow*
I don't get why she didn't comment on my new found skinniness when I WAS WALKING ALL AROUND THE HOUSE (sans winter jacket), BLATANTLY SHOWING OFF LIKE A DAMN PEACOCK.
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| "I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock...at 9:00 on Monday. I think I may have gotten herpes from ALL of you." |
I don't know if you knew this or not, but my entire family (on my dad's side) is OBSESSED with weight loss. But the stupid part of this is the fact that after they go to Weight Watchers meetings, they walk next door to the Chili John's shop and eat chili.
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| That has got to be at least...5000 Weight Watcher points. And I'm just talking about the counter. |
I'm literally the only grandkid that didn't participate in sports in elementary through high school. Oh, I'm sorry. I was too busy EDUCATING MYSELF TO GET INTO COLLEGE. For almost 4 years, my family would have to Google what I was talking about to make sure I wasn't making up stuff just to impress them. I forget that they don't believe in reading.
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| "That's the directions on how to work the television. Stop using the DVD remote to change channels. I'm going to drink myself stupid now, Grampa." |
On to a completely different topic, I'm mildly (read: stalkerish) obsessed with NCIS. No lie, I've watched it every single day this week. Plus I've been NetFlixing the seasons to catch up with the episodes I'm behind on. I adore adore ADORE this show. If you've never seen it, I really don't want to have anything to do with you. You mean nothing to me. At least YouTube some clips of McGee and DiNozzo so you get why I love this show.
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| Oh DiNozzo, you make me happy all the time. |
I'm sorry to say that I have nothing new to report on in the working out division of my life. I've been busy being absolutely lazy and LOVING IT. [A/N: I'm going to go ahead and apologize for the over-abundance of CAPS LOCK in this post. I don't know what's happening to me, but I have the need to over-emphasize certain parts of sentences. Like THIS part.]
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| FUCK YEAH I AM! BRING IT, NON CAPS LOCK SENTENCES. YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE ANNIHILATED! AHBOOYAH! |
Is it just me or do you hear a drill instructor screaming the sentences that are CAPS LOCK in your head?
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| "DO YOU GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, PRIVATE? I'M SAYING I LOVE ACTIVIA YOGURT. IT'S NOT JUST FOR THE LADIES, PRIVATE! IT MAKES ME REGULAR AND I LIKE THAT. HURRAH." |
I'm going to go eat a doughnut now and watch NCIS until my eyes bleed.
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| I'd give my left boob to be in that room. |
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